Monkey Brain Flush

Despite the word flush in the title, I'm moving away from my bowel for the moment. Never fear, tho, to know me is to know my bowel habits. (Just ask Leanne about the ill-fated polish hot dog at a SF Giants game lo these many years past).

I'm just trying to come to grip with my monkey brain. Always with the disjointed flitty thoughts in the predawn hours. The problem is, some of them are pretty good, so I don't want to call my doc and beg for meds. Like, I know I have to reconfigure my library so I can cope next year. It's grand-freaking central in there all the time. What other teacher has to do their lessons with folks coming in to make photocopies, and most of the time they screw up this simple task and I happen to have a photocopier that makes an alarming sound if you even place the paper on the glass in a way that it can't read and it starts making noise like diseased monkeys in the super-secret-sector-seven lab just escaped and are now causing havoc all over the lab and oh god what are the implications for mankind? Or it sorta sounds like the Stazi are tracking someone who's just about to make it to Checkpoint Charlie or something.

Not what you want to hear during Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus. And I just don't have the time or the energy to give the stink-eye all the time. I'm just horrified by what people are willing to inflict on others in the name of getting things done on their schedule. And then there's the kids who have been sent down to the library to make photocopies. Kind of reminds of that tactic Jehovah Witnesses have when canvassing: they show up with a kid so you don't unleash all the vitriol you would like. But talk about brazen. Or clueless. I'm reading away, giving it all I've got and I glance down and whoa, hey, lurking at my right elbow is a kid holding some ratty sheet of paper and they want a photocopy of it. WHY? Why the hell would you need a photocopy of your shitty, illegible handwriting? Because reproducing it is not going to make it look any better. I feel like it's a tactic to just get a kid out of the room for awhile because they finished first, or they are driving the teacher crazy. I have noticed that the kids who wander in to "browse" or "make photocopies" are not the bright, shiny learners. They are usually the shuffling lurking types. One of them even has a bizarre odor that I can only interpret as Unicorn Piss. At first I just thought she was some horsey-type who has to muck out a stall in the morning before school. But that kind of fug tends to settle after a while. No, this is a powerful, magical odor that is not going to relent and fade like the real-life odor of a horse stall. Somehow she has come in contact with a mythical beast and she appears to have angered this normally benign creature for it has condemned her to smell like its pee-pee.

And now my library smells like Unicorn Pee from strange kids and the photocopier makes it sound like Vermont Yankee just hired Homer Simpson. Welcome to my library.