A Serious Flap in my Doodle

Yesterday I had homemade potato leek soup for lunch. Also a piece of cornbread, an orange and way more girl scout thin mints than originally planned. Seriously, those cookies DO NOT fit my profile. I loathe chocolate and mint together. Nothing more disturbing to me than biting into a brownie and discovering vile mint flavoring mingling with the cocoa. But there's always an exception, as in most things.

So, I don't know if it was the circumstances of ingestion--slumping on a stool in the art room, leaning toward a table sized for kids which started a bad round of digestion, but I got some serious shooting-pain gas from that damn soup. Had to hobble my way through two more classes before it was all over. Dare not go to a school toilet lest I toot my horn, or clap my cymbals or play any kind of bottom percussion too loudly or too long. As we all know, the school's huge and there's no way there won't be some midget waiting for me, staring at me silently, when I emerge after my one-woman ass concert. No, I don't give autographs.

Chris and I left for the pool immediately after school. On the way there I was recalling a quote from one of Bob's many track coaches: "Yer bound to pass a little gas when yer exacisin' ya laigs". So that was my plan, grab a kickboard and move those legs. I'll be making so much froth at the back, who will notice a few more bubbles? Well, it worked, but damn if the gas-- which at this time was starting to feel like an entity with consciousness, some kind of internal twin who was tired of living on the inside or whatever. So yeah, it came out, but it STAYED in my suit. The entire back of my tank was filled with air. Just like the gum-chewing kid from Wonka. Then all of the sudden, the gas entity made a decision to be free. It flew up up the back of my suit and became one with the chlorinated air of the indoor pool.

Sadly, that didn't end it for me. But it was the end of the beginning. When I got home I told Bob about my gas and my potato leek soup suspicions. "Oh yeah, he says, that soup gave me bad gas, too."

File this one under Cheap laffs.