Sunday, March 2, 2008

Daily Rhubarb-Cabin Fever Edition

Too many snowstorms later, cabin fever hits the house Saturday evening in all its edgy glory. It started when Bob began rooting in the so-called Liquor Cabinet: The up-to0-high-to-be-useful -over-the-sink place where we stash our random bottles of booze, and also the smelly, rusty lunchboxes (the ThomasTankengine ones have vanished and now Lucy has to use the Shaun Cassidy/Parker Stevenson Hardy Boys lunchbox my sister sent me as a gag gift. It still smells like a 1970s lunch in there. Bologna, mayo,and Kraft Singles on verrrrry white bread, and uh, whiffing deeper, I think there's a sub note of ....let's say a lil'Debbie cake and a bag of Fritos. Thank god the thermos was no longer inside. Can you imagine what Wyler's lemonade would smell like after all these years?) So, back to poor Bob--he's suddenly inspired, in a way that only a parent who's been in the house, all week with two small children who are training mightily for a slot in the qualifying heat of the National Sibling Bickering Olympics would be.

And how's the Bickering Olympics training going? Oh, very well! Thanks for asking! Archie's been honing his Outrage at his sibling for even glancing at, or daring to touch, any of his unassembled Bioncle pieces while he puts his creepy cyborg together using a booklet the size of an unincorporated town's phone directory. Meanwhile, Lucy plans on sweeping the Umbrage event by screeching her sibling's name each and every time he walks past her while she's playing on the floor, or registers his disdain over her slowly shredding sweat pants she insists on wearing all the time. I'm telling you, these two are headed for the cover of Bickering Sibling Monthly: A Magazine for the Ardent Sibling Bickerer. I can see the pull quotes for the cover now--Lucy Parks says "There's nothing that you absolutely CANNOT take umbrage with when it comes to your sibling, I know, because I do." Archie Parks retorts: "LUCY DO NOT TOUCH THOSE BIONCLE PARTS! GET THOSE OUT OF YOUR MOUTH ....MOMLUCY'SCHEWINGONMYBIONCLEPARTS!!!!!!!!!"


So yeah, Bob's pretty much ready for a drink and he's getting very inspired by the bottle of Hennessy that the Moore-Odells so kindly bequeathed us at Christmas tide. I had saved the pretty metallic box that this swanky booze came in for awhile. Not being used to having amber fluid of this caliber in the house, I wasn't sure what kind of cocktails you concocted with it. I recall the back of the box had some geography based drinks;there was a ...Hennessy Miami (add confectioner's sugar?) Damn. Could not think of what kind of drink to make. And let's face it, we have limited mixers here at any given time. So, enter the website --here's where we'll get some information on how to refresh ourselves with this exciting, yet baffling libation. Oh noooo. First of all, when you go there you have to present your bona fides and they have that ridiculous pull-down menu where they want to know what country you are from. Not a big deal except they don't put the US at the top. Oh yeah, hennessy's HUGE in Afghanistan. So, after clearing that hurdle, this crazy make-you-think-you're-shopping-for-v-necks-at-Banana-Republic music kicks in. Fancy photography of Really. Beautiful. People. They are thinking long and hard about their Hennessy cocktails. There's some very small links at the bottom -yay! recipes! Salvation's at hand! But wait! The good folks at Hennessey want to know what kind of mixers you have on hand. Not much, good folks at Hennessy, not much. After awhile the buy merchandise at a mall music starts to wear, so we give up. On the website, I mean. Never on the actual booze. Bob now has another geographical cocktail to submit to Hennessy. What's in a Hennessy Vermont you ask? Maple syrup, lemon juice, the booze, and bitters, of course.


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